That's when you crack a 10am beer
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
