I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
its not stalking. its research.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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