i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
