Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
pray to the hookup gods
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
