I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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