Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You are a booty call, not a friend.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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