I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
