woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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