he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
