Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
