If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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