yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
