did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
It was confusing and full of hummus
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
