your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
