we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
And then my night got REAL pukey
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The Olympian is in my bed
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
