Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
