May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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