Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
