PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
