Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
