when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
