he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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