It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
