so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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