Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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