That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
