i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
