I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
A bitchslap is in order.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
