okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
