walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
