it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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