My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
