It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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