ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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