I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
