whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
