If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
