If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
