sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
