I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
