If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
