we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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