wat bout pragnant strippers??
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
