I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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