I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
