he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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