Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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