you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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