The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
