scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
