It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
