you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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