but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
